Weird Sex Laws

We are told that ignorance of the law is no defense. Well here are some sex-related laws that are on the books in various states that may just shock, surprise or entertain you. The following list was compiled by the College Times.

1. In Arizona and 18 other states oral sex is illegal


2. In Virginia, it is illegal to have sex with the lights on


3. In Willowdale, Oregon, it is illegal for husbands to talk dirty during intercourse


4. In Georgia, it is illegal for unmarried couples to have sex


5. In Washington, DC, it is illegal to have sex in any other position than "missionary"


6. In Connorsville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to fire his gun while his female partner is having an orgasm


7. In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth


8. In Florida, it is illegal to have sex with a porcupine


9. In Utah, it is illegal to marry your first cousin if she/he is under the age of 65


10. In Washington state, it is legal to have sex with animals as long as the animal weighs less than 40 pounds

Remember that if you have committed any of the above offenses, you need to get a good lawyer, because you will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

God Gets Arrested Near Church

It may surprise you to hear that God got arrested near a church on cocaine charges! Its true, God Lucky Howard, 39, a self-employed mortgage broker, living at 3812 N. Avon Ave., Tampa was arrested. He was charged with one count each of delivery of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing; one count each of delivery of cocaine with intent to sell within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing; and two counts of possession of cocaine.

According to the police report, on April 28th police bought 3.4 grams of cocaine from him at his home. A month later, police served a search warrant on that same address and found a safe in the bedroom closet containing three plastic bags with 22.5 grams of cocaine. They also found a digital scale with cocaine residue.

This was not God's first offense. In 1995 had pleaded guilty to a similar charge and in 2003 he spent 18 months in state prison, again on a cocaine charge. He is currently held in the Orient Road jail on an $86,500 bail.

Just in case you didn't know, God Lucky Howard is not the only God in Florida, nor is he even the only God in trouble. There are other Gods in the Florida penal system:

• Glory of God Cummings of Pensacola


• God Fearing Philippe of Lakeland


• None God of Jupiter


• God Medeiros of New Port Richey


• God Goldman of Dade County


• God V. Torres of Dade County and


• Allahzar God Allah, 62, has been in a Lake County prison for almost a quarter century serving a life sentence for first-degree murder.

God has also been spotted elsewhere. An Illinois judge gave a man named Steve Kreuscher permission to legally change his name to "In God We Trust". The 57-year-old artist and bus driver said the name grew from his devotion to God......and in his own words:

"There are billions of artists out there. If you don't do something to stand out in the crowd, the world won't recognize you."

This got me to thinking about Jesus Christ. Where can the son of God be found? Well the closest I got was a cocaine drug dealer named Spider who was waiting for Jesus in Dallas:

Drug traffickers in Mexico mixed as much as six pounds of the illicit white powder into a paste and used it to make a regal statue of the Christian savior, complete with painted-on flowing hair and a gold cape. They were hoping that it would not attract the attention of border guards in Laredo....wrong. Drug-sniffing dogs at the border exposed Jesus as nothing but a mixture of cocaine and paste.

"These people will use anything, including religious icons to smuggle their drugs," said Steven Robertson, a spokesman for the Drug Enforcement Administration, in Washington. "It is sacrilegious."

The plot quietly began to unfold when the woman who was a passenger in a car driving into the United States said a man told her he had too many things to carry, and would pay her $80 if she'd drop the statue at the Laredo bus station, according to a court document filed.

While trying to enter the United States, Customs and Border Patrol inspectors grew suspicious and checked her out. The woman later said she was unaware the statue was cocaine and took federal agents along for her rendezvous. After being arrested, the man, 61-year-old Bernardino Garcia-Cordova, admitted the statue was his property. Garcia-Cordova, who now faces cocaine importation and possession charges, told investigators a man he knows only by a Spanish nickname, La Araña, or The Spider, told him to take it to Dallas.

Hopefully the Spider has not put too much faith in the coming of Jesus, because it is not going to happen!!

Where's the Weed?

Japanese Customs officials at Tokyo-Narita airport made the embarrassing admission that they lost 142g (5 ounces) of the marijuana derivative hashish. In an unauthorized test involving drug-sniffing dogs, the hash was stored in a metal container stuffed into the pocket of a soft, black suitcase belonging to one of 283 passengers traveling on Cathay Pacific Flight 520 from Hong Kong to Narita, which arrived at 3:31 p.m. on Sunday. The 142g of hash had a reported street value of $10,000 (about 1 million yen)

The customs agent who hid the hash could not remember which suitcase he had put it in, and the drug-sniffing dogs were unable to locate the container. The agent had conducted the test on a passenger's bag against regulations. Normally a training suitcase is used. Customs regulations require customs officials to prepare luggage for training exercises like the one carried out on Sunday and specifically ban travelers' baggage from being used. Customs officials said four customs officials had two sniffer dogs working a luggage conveyor at Narita, but neither was able to find the drugs. Manpei Tanaka, head of Customs’ Narita branch, apologized for the incident.

“It’s extremely regrettable that we have invited this sort of situation on ourselves. We will investigate the facts behind the case, provide thorough training and deal strictly with those involved,” Tanaka said.

The 38-year-old officer responsible for the incident was quoted by the spokeswoman as saying:

"I knew that using passengers' bags is prohibited, but I did it because I wanted to improve the sniffer dog's ability," the officer was quoted as saying. "The dogs have always been able to find it before... I became overconfident that it would work," he said.

Police began to contact passengers who were on the flight and issued an appeal to the public:

"If by some chance passengers find it in their suitcase, we're asking them to return it."

Fortunately, a shocked passenger found the drugs. Japan Today reports that the passenger discovered a small metal box containing the hashish tucked in a side compartment of his suitcase when he got to his hotel. "The man called police who returned the cannabis to Narita airport", Japan Today said.

JetBlue Sued Over Toilet Seat

Gokhan Mutlu, of Manhattan is suing the airline JetBlue for $2 million. He claims the pilot forced him to give up his seat and sit on the toilet seat in the bathroom for over three hours while on a flight from California to New York.

[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=f6vzcPYy9cI&feature=related]

On Feb. 23 2008 Gokhan Mutlu was returning from San Diego to New York on a "buddy pass" ticket. This is a free voucher that JetBlue employees give to friends and family who are willing to fly on a stand-b y basis. Initially, Mutlu was told a flight attendant had taken the last available seat on the plane, but she had agreed to sit in the "jump seat" which is a seat reserved for JetBlue employees only. This meant that Mutlu could catch the flight and use the seat the flight attendant had given up.

About 90 mins into the 5 hour flight the pilot approached Mutlu and told him that the attendant was uncomfortable in the "jump seat" and he would have to relinquish his seat to her. He also told Mutlu that he could not use the "jump seat" because it was only for JetBlue employees. The pilot suggested that Mutlu "go hang out" in the bathroom.

When Mutlu objected to having to sit in the bathroom the pilot said:

"He was the pilot, that this was his plane, under his command that (Mutlu) should be grateful for being on board,"

When the aircraft hit turbulence passengers were directed to return to their seats and Gokhan Mutlu had no choice but to sit on the toilet seat, with no seat belts to use. It was hours later when a male attendant knocked on the toilet door and informed Mutlu that he could return to his original seat.

Mutlu's lawsuit, filed in Manhattan's State Supreme Court, says JetBlue negligently endangered him by not providing him with a seat with a safety belt or harness, in violation of federal law.

P.S.

I would like to know if anyone tried to use the bathroom during the three hours Gokhan Mutlu was in there!!