;)
Monday
Mar312008
Man Had Sex With Picnic Table
Monday, March 31, 2008 at 1:42AM 
Art Price Jr., 40, of Bellevue Ohio, a married man with three school-aged kids, was having an affair; a very public affair on his front porch. At the very least he could depend on his partner to keep the affair quiet. He was having sex with his picnic table! Thanks to an anonymous neighbor who videotaped some of the sessions, Art now faces 4 felony counts of indecent exposure.
According
to Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson Price was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, Ridge Elementary, and a playground which made it likely that children could have seen him. The neighbor, who wishes to remain anonymous, saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex. The most recent instance took place on March 14th. According to NBC Toledo, Ohio, affiliate WNWO-TV, the videos show Price tilting the metal round picnic table on its side and then laying up against it to have sexual intercourse with the table. Afterward, he can then be seen cleaning the table and the deck."The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wt6aros_w0]
Price, who admitted he was guilty, was released on his own recognizance. The Price family did not want to talk to reporters about the incident but the neighbors were not so reluctant:
"He shouldn't be allowed out, just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.
Another neighbor wondered about the effects this would have on Price's children and hoped they would not be teased by other kids:
"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a neighbor.
This case has the police, and everyone else, in this small town shaking their heads.
"Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.
P.S.
In all seriousness this must have been a highly embarrassing episode for Art Price. However, if I could ask him just two questions they would be: Isn't it painful to have sex with a metal table? and How big was that hole anyway?
Reader Comments (7)
[...] Other odd news. [...]
Ja, ja, ja. Poor guy.
Sex in the city?
Did anyone ask the table what its feelings were in all of this?
lol... as long as it feels good....
I wonder if he'd molested a wooden table?
ROFLOL! I have no words for this!!!! This is BEYOND lame! If I were going to go to the big house...I would want to make it good...not this: "So what are you in for?" "Molestation of an inanimate object." HAHAHAHA! Ouch! Guys? Shouldn't that have hurt? www.msfriendly.wordpress.com
[...] Other odd news. [...]